Friday, November 18, 2011

not good...but God is good

So, this week has been hard.  Like, really, really hard. 

It started Sunday evening when my car died again.  It died three times in about 15 minutes, with the final time being in the turning lane of a busy, 4-way intersection.  Getting my car out of the road was an ordeal.  Drew (a friend and co-worker, for those who don't know) came and another random guy had stopped to help, and the two of them pushed my car quite a ways to get it into a parking lot.  I had been on my way to Bible study, so Drew was going to drop me off there and I was just going to get someone else to bring me home.  When we got to Drew's truck he was obviously a little winded and tired from pushing a car and said he just needed a few minutes to catch his breath before we left, which was fine by me.  I called Dad to tell him what had happened, and as I was talking to Dad I kept glancing over at Drew, because he just wasn't acting quite right.  His eyes got all droopy and he started swaying, and as I was asking "Drew are you ok?" he slumps forward and passes out on his steering wheel!  I don't know which I yelled first, "Dad, I have to go," or, "DREWWWW!!!," but I more or less hung up on Dad and started shouting at Drew and shaking his arm.  After those classic "few seconds that seem like an eternity" he slowly sat up and just looked at me and asked, "What just happened?" to which I loudly relpied, "You freakin' passed out!"  We sat there for a couple minutes while he continued to not be ok before I called his wife Leslie, who was thankfully at home, and is thankfully a nurse.  While we waited for her to get there I just tried to keep Drew from passing out again, and some of my techniques probably weren't the best.  I yelled at him, snapped my fingers in front of his face, hit him in the arm, made him talk to me, made him drink water, which he complained about because it was old.  And I was soooo glad when I saw Leslie's car pull into the parking lot.  She took him home in the truck, and I drove her car to Bible study, which I was 40 mintues late to (and I'm one of the leaders) and I just put on a smile and acted like nothing happened.

Then Monday morning started the $2 a Day Challenge.  Overall, the experience wasn't too bad for me, but by Wednesday evening I was hungry and sluggish, and by Thursday evening I was really hungry and had very little energy.

And Thursday morning was just the icing on the cake of a bad week.  I was in the bathroom getting ready, and I had a large cup full of water.  I don't know if you think it's weird that I was drinking in the bathroom, but I was trying to drink a lot this week so I wouldn't feel quite as hungry.  Anyways, I knocked the cup over and water of course went everywhere.  I ran to get some towels, and was down on my hands and knees mopping it all up when my dad called.  He was calling to tell me that he had talked to the mechanics and my engine was dead and gone.  No engine = no car.  The mechanic here was going to charge a small fortune to replace it, but dad went on to say that he found an engine in Lynchburg that we could buy and replace my old one with.  But that meant he would have to drive to Johnson City next week and pick me up and tow my car back to Lynchburg.  It also meant a lot of money.  Not as much as the mechanic here was going to charge, but still, a lot of money.  He also said that he and mom would cover the repairs.  I was very grateful for that, but still felt awful.  I'm 25 years old, and don't like depending on my parents so much for stuff like this.  I'm supposed to be a successful, independent young woman, not someone who feels like she can't handle her car breaking down.  I managed to hold it together while I was on the phone with him, but as soon as I hung up, I lost it completely.  I was still sitting on the floor of my bathroom, and just sat there and cried and cried and cried until I was out of tears.  And I remember thinking to myself, "Aimee, this is ridiculous.  You're sitting in a puddle of water on your bathroom floor crying."

I managed to pull myself together and make it to the office, but then I just sat at my desk and stared out the window, panicking inside.  Dad had said that even with a new engine, I'd probably only get another year or so out of my car.  That meant that this time next year I might have to be buying a car.  I don't have enough money to buy a car!  Even if I made a lot of cuts and saved, I wouldn't have enough.  I figured that the only way to buy a car next year is to get a part-time job this summer and work my butt off.  That means no missions trip, no fun trips, no fun basically.

But that morning in the bathroom, after I'd emptied myself of tears and picked my wet self up off my wet floor, I remember saying "Ugh, not good," and in my very next breath out came: "but God is good."  And it's funny, because I don't even remember thinking that thought at all, it just kind of came out.  And I am so glad that it did.  I'm so thankful that I can know it is true, and that in the midst of a week that was physically, emotionally, and spiritually draining, God showed his goodness to me over, and over, and over again.

Like in blessing me with friends like Drew, Leslie, and Brandon, who will push my car and loan me theirs. 

Like Wednesday evening when the doorbell rang, and the UPS man was there with a birthday package from Amanda and Jonathan.  It was technically a week and a half late, but just on time because I needed it more this week than on my birthday.
Like Wednesday evening at The Well when we celebrated and thanked God for the $13,000+ that students gave over the previous three weeks during our 365:24/7 series to help meet needs of people here and around the world; and 5 students were baptized on Wednesday night!

Like Thursday afternoon during my weekly meeting with Hannah.  Sometimes I go into my meetings so excited, because I feel like what we're going to discuss is really pertinent to something they're experiencing.  Thursday was not one of those days though.  We've been reading through the book of James, and as I prepared for that lesson, I didn't really see at all how this applied to Hannah's life at the moment.  I even considered just doing something different and easier, because I was tired.  But as God knew all along, that day's lesson was something Hannah really needed to hear.  She was incredibly honest and vulnerable, we both cried and we both laughed, and we shared some very sad, sweet, and special moments in the middle of the loud and crowded Cave.  I walked away from that time just so totally aware of God and in love with Him just a little bit more.

Like Thursday night at our Thanksgiving Potluck and Karaoke night with ministry team students when I laughed all night long, and was able to enjoy some delicious and tasty food!

And like tonight.  Right now.  Going into this week, this wasn't the Friday night I'd imagined.  I had planned on going to a concert.  But I'm at home; a nice home that is warm, where there is food in my cabinets, clean water flowing from the faucets, and more clothes and shoes than I need in my closet. 
In front of me is a book that I can believe every word that is written in it, and I know that I serve a God who is very, very good.

Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man 
who takes refuge in him. 
Psalm 34:8

Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for men, for he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things.  
Psalm 107:8-9

The LORD is good to all; he has compassion on all he has made. 
Psalm 145:9


  1. It doesn't make much sense, but this post made me cry! Today has been emotionally wearing on me, and it's encouraging to see you find joy in the Lord in the midst of difficult situations. It's been difficult for me to trust God with my situation, to let Him handle it. It's just really good to be reminded of how good God always is, even when life isn't. Basically, thanks :)

  2. Aimee this post brought tears to my eyes! Your attitude has challenged me and I appreciate your vulnerability! I'm praying for you - that you won't be stressed, that you'll figure something out about your car, but mostly that you'll keep remembering that God IS good! Love you Aimee!


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